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Back to Basics

Written by on February 21, 2012 · Leave a Comment
Back to Basics

This past weekend I was reminded of the basics of living  and as usual, it brought me up short to stop, notice, take stock and decide what to do differently.

It was like a refrain from the past. One of my managers back in South Africa always used to say to me: ‘Back to basics, Avis, back to basics.  Get the basics right and the rest will follow.’ Whilst that was in relation to computer systems, I figure the same concept can be applied to that ‘system’ we call our life.

Back to the basics then, with apologies to those who have it all sorted.

Health:  Eat good quality food, drink more water, exercise more, get rest.
Food affects your sense of wellbeing and energy levels, so make sure it is good quality. The best food is food in its natural state, unrefined and unprocessed except for healthy home cooking. Read more »

Categories: Change and Transition - Tags: , , , ,

Facing a Difficult Conversation?

Written by on February 11, 2012 · 2 Comments
Communication Failure

So someone commented… ‘Your site is about difficult conversations, how to have those tough conversations, the one’s you’d rather not have for fear of the damage it can do, yet you seem to write about everything except that’.

Good point. How does what I blog about here relate to tough conversations?

Now I’ll do that annoying thing and answer the question with a question: How do YOU show up in a difficult conversation? Who are you during those crucial moments when a normal conversation crosses the line and becomes a tough one? What is a difficult conversation anyway?

Let’s start with this last question first. What is a difficult conversation, a crucial conversation, tough conversation, vital conversation, fierce conversation or challenging conversation?

Read more »

Categories: Skill Building - Tags: , , , , , ,

Light from Many Lamps

Written by on February 2, 2012 · Leave a Comment

 

Flower

Actually, Light from Many Lamps is the title of one of my most prized books. I was presented with this book as a reward for hard work at the end of my final school year. It is, as it says on the cover, ‘a treasury of inspiration selected from the wisdom of the ages’, compiled by Lillian Eichler Watson. And it sure is full of wisdom. Some of the most guiding principles of my life came from there.

 It is fascinating how the same quotes I marked up in pencil at the ripe old age of 18 still resonate with me. I am so grateful to the teacher who chose this book for me. I wonder if they ever realised the impact they would have on me through this book. You just never know when you say or do something that impacts someone profoundly. Yep, we all have this power, this influence. Awesome, is it not?

I wanted to do something similar in this post – pull together words of wisdom, inspiration and lessons learnt from various sources and especially those I consider my teachers.

Shakespeare: Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.

Dr Wayne Dyer: You are an angel having a human experience.

My Dad: ‘Alles met n TE by is nie goed nie, behalwe TEvrede’.

This is in Afrikaans and it basically means everything in moderation. A more literal translation is ‘everything preceded by ‘too’ is no good.’ E.g.; too good, too noisy, too big, too much.   Read more »

Categories: Communication

How to Get Rid of Guilt

Written by on January 20, 2012 · Leave a Comment

GuiltSomeone asked me this question a while ago: ‘How do I get rid of the guilt?’

When amongst friends and family, I normally chirp ‘Don’t do guilt. Go on any trip except a guilt trip.’ This is not the sort of thing you want to hear when guilt is weighing you down and you are feeling paralyzed, numb and worthless.

So I went in search of answers. Here’s the best of what I found.

Decide To Let It Go. In his book Friendship with God, God tells Neale Donald Walsch ‘If you release guilt, guilt will release you.’ When Neale asks God how do you do that, God replies ‘By deciding to.’ So when you feel guilty ask ‘Is this who I want to be? What would be the most loving thing to do now?’  Then take it from there.

Question Your Beliefs. Beliefs are simply rules we live our lives by. Some of these we make up for ourselves, such as ‘I am a person of integrity, I never tell lies’. Other rules and norms of behaviour   we acquire along the way, typically from our parents, friends, religion, school, society and a host of other external influences. For example, you may have grown up and every Sunday, there would be a roast for lunch. It did not matter whether Read more »

Categories: Deep Thoughts - Tags: , , ,

Aim for Improvement, not Perfection

Written by on January 9, 2012 · 2 Comments

 

Step by Baby Step

A long time ago I went to my then manager with the wisdom ‘Training does not teach you anything. All it does is show you new areas of incompetence!’

‘Are you telling me you don’t want to do anymore training?’ he enquired.

‘Of course not!’ I quipped, ‘ I’m just saying.’

What I had stumbled on and could not verbalise at the time was that training shows you where there is room for improvement. It raises awareness. After that, the responsibility is with you and it’s over to you to implement what you have learnt or go and find out how to close the gap the training highlighted.    

This is not just true of training. It can be said for any method whereby you become aware that there is a different way, possibly a better way, of doing the thing you are struggling with. Just noticing yourself that the way you are doing things are not getting the results you want and resolving to ‘find a better way’ can put you on a path of learning and discovery.  Read more »

Categories: Skill Building - Tags: , , ,

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